Happy New Year To The New You
by Tonja Weimer
Would you like to go into the New Year feeling like a new you? Would you like to be dating and maybe fall in love? Take a look at what you can do to make that happen. Here are five goals for the new you in the New Year:
1. Don't count on New Year’s Resolutions.
Did you ever notice that your New Year's resolutions rarely come true? That’s because just promising yourself that you are going to do something usually is not enough to make you do it. If it were that easy, you would have done it by now. You can start off with the best intentions, but the first week back to work after the holidays can find you busier than you have ever been, needing a vacation from the vacation you just had.
What can work for you is to partner with someone who will hold you accountable. It works even better if they do it with you. For years I told myself that I was going to get in shape. Somehow, it never happened until I made an agreement with a friend to meet at the gym every morning at 6:30. If I don’t go, she doesn’t work out. It’s the promise I’ve made to her that keeps me going…every day.
2. Do some inside work on yourself.
Fall in love with you by becoming someone you love. One way or another, what’s going on INSIDE of us shows up on the outside of us. Someone told me this year that in the world of pottery, where pots are made by “throwing” clay on a wheel, a crooked person can’t throw a symmetrical pot. That one idea had me thinking for quite a while. This example could be applied to a lot of things in life. Particularly in the realm of relationships. Every time one of my clients complains about how a past love lied and betrayed them, I ask them what they were lying to themselves about when they were with that person. Deception works both ways. You can’t be deceived unless you are lying to yourself in some way.
3. Let go of your baggage, your limitations, and what's holding you back.
Some people must continually define themselves by their problems. They complain about them, but if one misery disappeared, ten more would come to its rescue. And when you try to help them, they’ll fight you, saying, “You just don’t understand!” I do understand. It is hard to let go of the known and develop a whole new identity. Instead of people feeling sorry for you, you would have to step up and own and hone your talents, and let go of what you allow to hold you back. Without your problems, you might have to face how wonderful and magnificent you are. It’s a big responsibility.
4. Rest.
It’s been a tiring year for a lot of people. More than once I have heard from people who have been affected by the weather, war, disasters, economics, and health problems that they cannot afford. If they were single, they felt like the weight of the world had fallen on their shoulders and they had to carry it all alone. Find time to rest. Even if you feel fine. The best care is preventative care.
5. Believe you can find love
There is someone out there for everyone. I am now more convinced than ever—there is someone out there for everyone who is looking. I have seen person after person find their one great love. Some people had not had a date in 20 years. Some were enormously challenged by age, weight, or baggage. It didn’t matter. What I know is that if you change your perspective, your habits, and your behavior, you can change your life. If you take care of and refine everything good about yourself, someone good can find you.
So—what do you want in the coming year? Make a list, make a plan, and take some action. Because someone waits for you.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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